Monday, December 7, 2009

Beautiful CHD Poem

I found this poem on another CHD Mom's Blog. It touched me so much I had to pass it along.
A Mother's Perspective
(Stephanie Husted)
You passed me in the shopping mall...
(You read my faded tee)
You tapped me on the shoulder...
Then asked..."What's a CHD?"

I could quote terminology...
There's stats that I could give...
But I would rather share with you...
A mother's perspective.

What is it like to have a child with a CHD?
It’s Lasix,aspirin,Captopril…
It’s wondering…
Lord what’s your will?…

It’s monitors and oxygen tanks…
It’s a constant reminder to always give thanks…
It’s feeding tubes, calories, needed weight gain…
It’s the drama of eating…and yes it’s insane!

It’s the first time I held her…(I’d waited so long)
It’s knowing that I need to help her grow strong…
It’s making a hospital home for awhile…
It’s seeing my reward in every smile.

It’s checking her sats as the feeding pump’s beeping…
It’s knowing that there is just no time for sleeping…
It’s caths, x-rays and boo boos to kiss…
It’s normalcy I sometimes miss…

It’s asking do her nails look blue?
It’s cringing inside at what she’s been through.
It’s dozens of calls to her pediatrician…
(He knows me by name…I’m a mom on a mission)

It’s winters homebound…and hand sanitizer…
It’s knowing this journey has made me much wiser.
It’s watching her sleeping…her breathing is steady…
It’s surgery day and I’ll never be ready.

It’s handing her over…( I’m still not prepared…)
It’s knowing that her heart must be repaired…
It’s waiting for news on that long stressful day…
It’s …praying…it’s hoping…that she’ll be okay.

It’s the wonderful friends with whom I’ve connected…
It’s the bond that we share…it was so unexpected…
It’s that long faded scar down my child’s small chest…
It’s touching it gently and knowing we’re blessed…

It’s watching her chasing a small butterfly…
It’s the moment I realized I’ve stopped asking why?
It’s the snowflakes that fall on a cold winter’s day…
(They remind me of those who aren’t with us today)

It’s in pushing ahead amidst every sorrow…
It is finding the strength to have hope for tomorrow

4 comments:

  1. that really is beautiful... made me cry... i can so identify with every single word... sigh.

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  2. absolutely amazing...i could have wrote that myself...my thoughts and feelings to perfection... <3

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  3. Hi Amanda...

    I have to say i have been obsessed with looking at the beautiful website you have created for your daughter.

    She is absolutely gorgeous and she has gone through so much hasn't she? There is still a lot of information i have not taken in yet as there is so much to look at and read, also so much of it makes me cry ! You have obviously spent a lot of time in creating such an amazing page for Trista...so lovely for her to see when she grows up!

    I too have been blessed with a beautiful 'Heart Child'...Ellie is 8 years old now, and she was born with Transposition of the Great Arteries. She had the Balloon Septostomy at 24 hours old, and the OHS Arterial Switch at 9 days old.

    I would love to be able to create something like this for my family, especially for Ellie, but where did you start???

    I hope you don't mind me contacting you, but i have been searching the internet ever since Ellie was born in 2001, looking at everything there is to see about CHD...and i have to say i have seen some webpages created for Heart Babies, but yours has just really captured my heart.

    I love the poems you have on there too....so true.

    Anyway must go for now
    Love to your wonderful family and take care

    Regards
    Janet Mum of Krystal 22 HH, Jordan 15 HH and Ellie 8 CHD TGA
    xxxx

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  4. i am deeply moved by your poem that i want to grab it because i feel for you since my youngest son had a total Tetralogy of Fallot Repair two months ago =)

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